The other day I had to go to the nearest military base to get a new I.D. card. It took less then two minutes but I could have stayed the rest of the day staring at all the ladies in uniform. What is it about them that dangerously turns me on? I have always thought lady cops were hot but not as much as a girl in a military outfit especially the class A’s or dress blues. Maybe it’s because I don’t see that often so when I do I have to consciously remember to breathe.
What really gets me going is the class B outfits in blue or green with the garrison hat. I hate the berets. But those greasy hamburger joint hats… totally hot.

BDU’s… hot, but not so much.

I saw these incredible looking girls wearing class B’s, skirts and the garrison cap when I was attempting to drive out of the parking lot. I nearly crashed. They were marching across the street in front of me, looking at me because they weren’t sure if I was going to hit them. I said to myself out loud “Slow down slow down, no need to rush.” I wanted to stare at them awhile longer but instead I had to act like a “normal” person and try to gain my composure. I noticed I was sweating more and suddenly wanted to figure out a way to slowly leave instead of rush off like I was. I still am wondering would it be too suspicious of me to hang out on base to perhaps catch a glimpse of their legs? Ahhh! I’m totally creepy. Sorry about that. I am not always thinking rationally in the presence of a uniformed beauty. I must keep in mind the uniform ultimately will come off and well, it might be too late.

I even contemplated joining the military just because of the uniform.

Maybe it’s why I like Superman and other superheroes - their uniforms. I’m dense like this.

Oh No! Now I’ll have to walk two blocks instead of one. My mom told me about this this morning and I thought she was confused.

As many as 12,000 Starbucks workers will lose their jobs when the company begins closing 600 U.S. stores this summer. The Seattle coffee company is cutting 5 percent of its U.S. locations as part of a wide-ranging effort to boost its bottom line and its stock price. The chain is accelerating international growth. Most customers whose Starbucks stores close will be a short walk from a caffeine fix, the company said, because many of the unprofitable stores were being cannibalized by nearby Starbucks locations.

I used to live here I used to fucking live here and I can’t get over the fact I do not any more. Sometimes I just want to run away back to here and hope for the best for my family. I want to be selfish I want to run away. I don’t want to care. I don’t want to try. I just want to live the way I want to and not have worries. But then I get hit but the sense of doom and I stop. I just am not that person anymore and I won’t ever be again. I am out of my twenties now which is disgusting to me and I just can’t be that person any more.

Stop this rant stop this obsession. Stop wishing you were someone you’re not. Whatever dumb stupid fuck.

No idea what these are called but they pop and they have ants all over them.

No idea what these are called but I love them. I want these in my yard.

On our way home from Illinois today I was too exhausted to navigate. We needed gas for $4.19 a gallon and couldn’t find a handy Hy-Vee station to save our lives. Finally after several turns we found one. While trying to get us back on track we crossed the Mississippi and ended up in Iowa. Since we were there we thought we’d stop for some meth. It wasn’t a complete loss. The river was swollen but provided some very picturesque scenery that helped keep us awake.

The night before we ended up staying up until 4AM talking with one of my second cousins who I suspect has a lesbian daughter up in Chicago. She’s a pilot! How hot is that shit? You know, once you get into the third cousin status does that still constitute as incest? Hmmmm… Anyway my second cousin stayed up talking with us and we laughed and had a good time. She was heading up to Pride fest in Chicago to go with her daughter. Although she never said it outright I figure she must be a lesbian. I’m totally not the only one in the family anymore!

Speaking of dykes, Baby dyke is now eleven. She is even better at volleyball and softball as ever. At her grandma’s, my great aunt’s funeral last month she was dressed in dress pants and a blouse. Later B and I saw her emerge in boy basketball shorts and a tshirt. We figured she must be thinking “That’s better.” We tend to call her that now. She wants to hang around B and I more and more each time we see her. She is going to be totally hot when she grows up. Oops there I go again with that incest stuff.
B and Baby Dyke play volleyball against each other

Something very strange goes on in June. Not only is it Pride month it’s also the Smith Family Reunion insanity. So many cousins and I know most of their names. Some of them are on Facebook so now I’ll get to know them even more. How many third and fourth cousins are there? Generations and generations are at the reunion but unfortunately not too many people showed up. It’s everyone’s version of fried chicken, blackberry cobblers, green bean casseroles, corn, little wieners with bacon wrapped around them, cheesy potatoes, mac n’ cheese, and homemade desserts. It continues to feed the obesity gene. I was lucky enough to help my grandma fry the chicken early this morning and help make the blackberry cobbler. Her cobbler is gone before people go back for seconds.

It’s storming and so hot here

Specifically, in the Land of Lincoln. I’m getting my farmer groove on. Jealous? My phone doesn’t get much of a signal since this place is just a few feet away from a deep halla’. Oh well.

Seventy years ago, Superman debuts in the June 1938 Action Comics No. 1. Created by Jerry Siegel and Joseph Shuster, the caped superhero can “hurdle a twenty-story building” and “run faster than an express train,” but can’t fly until the 1940s. The pair sell the rights to Superman for $130; in 2008 a judge returns a share of the copyright to Siegel’s heirs. He has always been my favorite superhero the one I find most facinating. Love his tights and the color combination. Retro superman is my most favorite.

I took Meg swimming on Saturday and now she’s started itching again. It has to be swimmer’s itch I guess. We gave her a bath last night so hopefully at some point she will feel better.

My uncle has 90 percent of his arteries clogged in his heart. He’s on triple the insulin to help control his diabetes but it’s not helping. He’s not on a diet or even tries to eat healthy but the majority of my family does not know of any of this. It’s scary to think he could have a stroke or heart attack at any minute. He is also watching his grandson during the day alone. I’m afraid he might have a heart attack and the little boy who is four will be alone wondering what happened to grandpa. I’m plagued with the knowledge of knowing what is wrong with him but I’m not sure who knows in my family and who doesn’t. It’s stressing me out.

And last week B and I went to a “Romance” party. You know, one of those Tupperware parties except they sell sex toys, lubes, and throat numbing gels. We tried out this X-Scream Mandarin topical creams and what the hell? It was so distracting. I thought I was having an allergic reaction. It was a cool and burning sensation without the STD. Great. What the fuck did I spend money on this for? The girls at the party raved about it so how bad could it be? That will be going into the unknowns bag underneath the stairs in the depths of the moldy basement. Maybe we’ll re-gift it at a Bachelorette party or something.

This is what I’ve been waiting for:

McDonalds has been a favorite whipping boy of health buffs and nutrition experts, with its French fries and Quarterpounders being blamed for obesity among Americans. A Virginia man, however, credits the fastfood outlet for his losing about 80 pounds.

But Chris Coleson, who was 278 pounds in December, did not gorge on McDonald’s fattening offers. Rather, he feasted on the hamburger chain’s healthy menu such as salads, wraps and apple dippers, less the caramel sauce.

After six months, Coleson, who stands 5 feet and 8 inches, tipped the scale at 199 pounds. His waistline has trimmed from 50 to 36 inches.

Coleson, 42, said he opted to dine regularly at McDonalds because it was convenient for him considering his busy schedule as a businessman. He aims to trim down further until he reaches 185 pounds, his weight when he wed Tricia Summer a decade ago. The couple will celebrate their 10th wedding anniversary on Saturday, although he did not indicate if their menu would still be McDonalds’ greens.

[source]

Check on your partner’s location!

The rest of you may have already heard about this but it was news to me. I thought it was too good so I’ll share it for the rest of us. I logged on to check my sweetie’s progress on her way home.

Track any connected mobile phone using a satellite map with coverage anywhere in the world!! Log on HERE.

These days are the best summer days.

I have been waiting for this day forever. Today is Take Your Dog to Work Day! A co-worker and I used to talk and wonder if they would ever come up with a day like this and they finally have. Too bad I don’t work out of the home and don’t get the opportunity to do this. It’s odd it’s falling on the same day B starts her new job.

I drank about a half of glass of iced tea before realizing it tastes weird. I opened up the container and it had MOLD growing inside. Is there anything I need to do? Why do these things happen to me when I’m home alone?

This stuff freaks me out.

DOG CLONING
Best Friends Again

PLAN YOUR OWN FUNERAL ONLINE
Your Own Funeral Planned Online

Just looking around the papers and watching TV it seems the media is not treating the story of the first marriages in California as very historic. Although it was on page 3A in the Journal Sentinel, it was on page A19 of the New York Times — way down in the TV news rotation. From day one when the decision came down, their only concern — when they covered it all — was how it would affect the election (and them). Seems they’re still sloughing it off. Your thoughts?

Pioneering lesbian activists Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon (they founded the first lesbian organization, Daughters of Bilitis in San Francisco in 1955) were the first same-sex couple to be married during Gavin Newsom’s 2004 “Winter of Love,” a marriage that was voided like many others when the courts rules Newsom had overstepped. Now they are the first same-sex couple married again, except this time it’s legal thanks to their efforts as plaintiffs in the case which led to the California Supreme Court decision giving marriage rights to gays and lesbians.

My head hurts today but I made it to thirty.

People gave good presents. A questionable gift was a tennis racket (I’ve never played before in my life). Raspberry Rhubarb, Strawberry Rhubarb pies and a scrumptious butter cream frosted cake with raspberry sauce in the middle. The food served was all my favorites including shredded beef sandwiches, seven layer salad, and pretzel dip. Everyone came who said they would come. We played Sarah Trivia and even had a severe storm later in the day. It was a totally Chillaxin’ day. I couldn’t blow out all my candles. Way too many on the cake.

I feel very loved. Thank you to everyone! But most especially B who did a lot of the food, baking and preparing for the party.